Trying to get it altogether

So today I had planned to have an early morning post scheduled. It was all part of the new improved and organised me. Instead it is fast approaching dinner time and the day has somehow slipped away before I had a chance to do most of the things I had planned to do. Not exactly anything new there though. Some days my life is nothing more than a kerfuffle of mislaid plans. Other days it is filled with oxymorons and contradictions.

Today is both of those days.

You see I did get an early morning post scheduled, it just wasn't on this blog. It was here. The plan was to actually have two early morning post scheduled because I love to over extend myself. It is something I constantly do well. Over extend myself that is. As is making contradicting statements.

Yesterday I was blathering on about writing here again so as not to put off APL readers who were after something with a bit more substance than humdrum of me trying to bring some order into my life. Yet here I am today joining in all the fun and games of #IBOT over at Essentially Jess.

There will undoubtedly be plenty of gems discovered on this journey within, but there is bound to be plenty of tripe in between as well. There always is. Just sometimes it is hard to tell which is what and where. It is all part of the fun and games of life I guess.

The vision I have, is naturally one of grandeur. Though the exact details of it all are still so unknown. I have had a few glimmers of ideas and where to go.

It involves daily posts, highly detailed exercise diary keeping, positivity and moving forward in the best possible way. Plus a whole lot more, that will only be discovered with time.  But now I am just starting to ramble.

Creating some accountability

Is what I am trying to do. 

I am hesitant to go and run around setting goals because my inevitable failure will probably cause more damage and good. At the same time though I know that I need to have some sort of bench mark and record of where I sit on the bench so as to know that my efforts are not in vain.

Sitting here typing this all out and I am washed over by a resounding feeling of deja vu...

On Saturday I started a crunch and plank challenge. I had planned to add a few squats in as well but sadly that so far as not eventuated. Nor has the running. Or the little table I wanted to create to record all these numbers and stats of what I have (or haven't) done. Something I had hoped to help me push through the desire to sit around and do nothing.

The strangest thing about the desire to do nothing is that when something is done it is always enjoyed. Well most of the time, you know what I mean.

Before I continue on too much with all that I haven't so far done I should point out that there has been bike riding and walking with the family all in tow. Which in some ways is better than me just running alone. 

Remembering to keep a clear perspective on it all, 

is quite possibly the key

It sounds so easy when put in black and white. With purple as the case may be. The practise however... again only time will tell.

For now though there is dinner to made so children can be fed.

Looking back to move forward

I have been hoping to come here and write for nearly two weeks now. Perhaps even longer, but for the last two weeks have I most certainly been thinking a great deal about it.

Which naturally doesn't mean that I know what I want to say, just that there is something that needs to be said. Mind you one could possibly argue that there is always something that needs to be said...

When I first started this blog back in April '12 I harped on about ten things I needed to make matter. It was a bit of a rehash from a post I had posted a few months earlier over on A Parenting Life. Not that I usually republish posts from one blog onto another but this time I made an exception. After all I was talking about things that matter, so rule breaking was totally ok.

Only here I am September '13, more months on than I would like to count and not necessarily sure I managed to make any of my list items matter any more than what they did pre post.

So in a bid to move forward once more, I am taking the time to look back and see just how far I have come. Hopefully this will then help me see where it is I need to go next.

1. Write regularly.  And by that I mean every day.  Like anything it improves with practise.  If I am going to be serious about being a famous writer I really need to put pen to paper, of fingertips to keys or something other than the current levels of procrastination and self doubt.
   
   Well I am still trying to write as much as possible and while the whole every day thing hasn't happened I have managed write more than what I possibly ever have before. So I guess that counts for something right? I mean sure I haven't written enough to get me that book deal yet but I have been writing.
   
   
2. Being present for the children.  Making sure I disconnect from the electric world and spend time living.
   
   Hmmmmm. Well I have had large slots of disconnected time from the electric world, but I am pretty sure that this still needs some work. The incessant whining that I am sometimes faced with leaves me no choice but to retreat to the likes of Candy Crush some days.
   
   
3. Ensuring that I am well rested and suitable fueled to tackle anything the treasures might spontaneously throw at me.
   
   Tick, tick, tick. I have been doing great guns at trying to regulate some regular sleeping patterns and it really has made the world of difference. Gone (mostly) are the ridiculous late nights I once  kept. I may still need to work on the fuel (food) aspect but it's all about small steps right?
   
   
4. Providing interesting and nutritious food on a regular basis.  It is important to be aware of what works best for our bodies and provide it that, as much as possible.  Plus since eating is a part of life it only makes sense to get the most out of it.
   
   Oh gosh, maybe this looking back thing is not such a crash hot idea after all. Providing interesting AND nutritious food is bloody hard work and in my book possibly overrated. If I could hire any sort of help I am thinking a chef would be my best bet.
   
   
5. Leading an active life.  Getting out and about in the great outdoors and making the most of the land that surrounds us.
   
   Ah yep. Well I did do this for a bit. I may not be doing it too much at the moment but I did do this well for a while so I guess that means I can do it again.
   
   
6. Remaining true to what I believe in.
   
   Ok seriously? What was I thinking when I wrote this list??? Somedays I can barely remember what it is I believe in let alone remain true to it. Possibly need to do some serious work on this one.
   
   
7. Letting others know they are cared for and loved.
   
   Yes I am sure I have this one under control. Please let me have at least one thing under control.
   
   
8. Being on time.  Being late is rude.  Plain and simple.  Sounds harsh I know but as someone trying to curb a terrible (and I mean give her a half hour head start kind of terrible) habit of always being excessively late I need to be harsh.  I have little to no concept of time.  Never have.  But I want to.  I don't want my girls to grow up thinking it is alright to keep people waiting for you.  All. The. TIME.
   
   I have made great improvement in this area. I am still occassionally late, but generally speaking not as late as what I once was and not nearly as often.
   
   
9. The housework.  I can't believe I got this far without mentioning the housework.  Maintaining a clean and tidy house matters more than anything.  It is the cornerstone of happiness for the modern family.
   
   Cornerstone of happiness for the modern family I said. Right. The less said the better perhaps?
   
   
10. The washing.  Similar but not quite the same as the housework.  It is such a mammoth part of life it gets a point all of it's own.  (That and it's late and I am really struggling to think of anything else right now)
    
    Do you know why this one was so important? Simple really if the washing is done and under control, all put away properly and all that jazz mornings at our house are so much nicer. There is no shouting or screaming as we search high and low for the ever elusive missing sock. Which of course in turn means our chances of running late are greatly lessened and I am less likely to retreat to the online world due to the pressures of getting everyone out the door on time.

Sigh. Deep, deep, deep, sigh.

Of course now it is time to take the children to school. Or rather it is time to get the children ready to take to school because that is not yet done and the time to take children to school is just around the corner. Sitting here typing this post null and voids at least three things on this list I am sure.

Something difficult about my 'lot in life' #BlogEveryDayInMay

I may not have blogged here every day in
May, but I have been trying my best
to make the most of each day. Including a
little getaway from it all.

So it turns out the whole blogging every day in May thing hasn't worked out so well for me.

Which is kinda a shame but not overly surprising and quite possibly why I choose to do it here rather than on my other blog. I did however think that I would have lasted a little longer.

Mind you I also didn't expect to fall quite so far behind.

But never mind.

It is what it is. (Which is apparently quite the catch cry of late because I seem to be hearing it everywhere)

Anyway as I sit here in front of my screen surrounded by only the glow from the fish tank and computer, listening to the soft sounds of Alanis Morissette, I am in two minds as to how to proceed from here.

I could go back and do each day individually and just back date each post so that it looked like I blogged every day in May. Alternatively I could do just a few bulk posts and catch up to today and then hope like crazy I don't fall behind again.

Or I could forget about it all and just be done with it. Which I don't really want to do. Why that is I am not sure but there you go.

So here is what I have missed out on so far

Day 5, Sunday: Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends. What makes them great? Why do you love them? If you don't have blogger friends, talk about a real-life friend or even a family member
Day 6, Monday: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?
Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of
Day 8, Wednesday: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.
Day 9, Thursday: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)
Day 10, Friday: Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill. 
Day 11, Saturday: Sell yourself in 10 words or less
Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)
Day 13, Monday: Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.
Day 14, Tuesday: Ten things that make you really happy
Day 15, Wednesday: A Day in the life (include photos from throughout your typical day - this could be "a photo an hour" if you'd like)

Sigh.

Decisions, decisions hey? I know at the end of the day it doesn't really matter one way or another. 

Maybe I will work backwards and forwards at the same time and by the end of the month I will have it altogether?

Maybe the fact that today's challenge is this

Day 16, Thursday: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it

is actually a sign that something difficult in my lot in life is that I often lack commitment and discipline. Consistency is not my strong point either. I most certainly always also struggle with time management and deadlines as well. All of which I work on almost daily, with varying ranges of success.

Favourite Quote #BlogEveryDayInMay

It's funny on the surface when you see today's challenge

Favorite quote (from a person, from a book, etc) and why you love it

the initial thought is that it is a super easy one. After all who doesn't have a quote that they live by and just love?

Ah, that would be me.

There was a time when I would spend hours mulling over my favourite strings of words. Carefully writing them just right into my diary. Colouring in the letters, all kinds of decorations over the page. It was just what bored high school kids did. Well at least that is the way it was before the technological era of today.

Today the younguns have the like of Instagram and Tweetgrams and probably a whole range of other apps that I don't know the name of to share their wisdomous words (oh and wisdomous so is a word because EssentiallyJess uses it).

I was going to rant on a bit more about this all, perhaps even give a few examples but it is actually quarter past seven in the morning, four days after this challenge was meant to be done.

Throwing caution to the wind we made a last minute decision to ran away from reality and went camping for the long weekend that just passed. Which naturally meant blogging took a back seat to life. Particularly because where we went was so remote there was no phone or internet coverage.

Pure bliss I tell you.

So what am I going to share as my favourite quote?

Well I am going to cheat a little and leave you some

Fairy wishes & butterfly kisses

It is more of a personal catch cry than a quote but I would love for people the world over to spread them whenever they can. I have written previously over at A Parenting Life more details on these words.

 

On being uncomfortable #BlogEveryDayInMay

Sitting here right now I am beyond uncomfortable.

Ok I am not actually sitting here on these benches right now, but you gotta admit they sure look uncomfortable.
Image thanks to here

If you are a follower on my Facebook page for my other blog A Parenting Life, you would know that this week has seen me suffer (and not necessarily in silence) of a back aliment. And if you are not a follower, the link to the page is right there go and sign up quick sticks.

Today's challenge for the #BlogEveryDayInMay challenge over at Story of My Life is

Things that make you uncomfortable

It makes me uncomfortable to think that I didn't have the foresight to fore read the prompts for the challenge. That way I could have saved all that uncomfortableness around people that I shared yesterday for today.

Oh well live and learn I guess. Back to being uncomfortable.

Even though I am sitting in a worn out leather office executive office type chair rather than the above concrete benches, my back is aching like I don't know what, it just hurts a lot. It has done all week and while I was at the doctors twice this week neither time provided the opportunity to discuss why my back is suddenly having a hissy fit.

At the tender age of thirty five I fail to see that it could really be due to old age but alas I fear that may be it. Or at least a combination of that and excess exercise. I may have pushed myself a little to far to quick last week with my running goals.

Again live and learn I guess. Now where was I?

Oh that's right, things that make me uncomfortable.

Top of the list, without a doubt are Zombies. This was confirmed for me last week when The Mister and Miss 12 dragged me along to see Warm Bodies. While there is little I actually like about Zombies it is the whole brain eating thing that makes me the most uncomfortable.

Walking into a room of people I don't know also makes me rather uncomfortable but in a whole different way. The level of uncomfortable varies depending on the room and why we are all gathered.

Mind you just between you and me there are times when even just leaving the house to drop Miss 6 at school can make me feel uncomfortable so perhaps it is just human interaction at large that brings about my uncomfortable feelings. Which is strange because in another life I was all about people and interacting with them. I even thrived on it I think.

Sigh.

Thinking of the past some times, what was, what could have been, perhaps even what should have been. That too can make me uncomfortable at times.

For now though I am reminded that sitting here in this chair typing away is making me uncomfortable. Which is tough because at the same time the therapy of writing fixes so many other uncomfortables for me.

What makes you uncomfortable?

Are you part of the #BlogEveryDayInMay challenge?

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On being a know all #BlogEveryDayInMay

Today's challenge is

Source

Educate us on something you know alot about or are good at. Take any approach you'd like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)

As I mentioned yesterday I have two half degrees that apparently will never equate to one full degree. Which in some ways makes me wonder if I know a lot about anything or perhaps just a little on a lot.

Having thought about what I could share I decided that perhaps some of my infant massage tips would be the best bet. There was a time, which feels like many moons ago now, I set about to become an Infant Massage Instructor. Which essentially is just someone who showed new parents how they could massage and subsequently connect with their new little bundle of joy.

It was an opportunity that needed someone who was comfortable around strangers. I wasn't really. I'm still not. What gets me most is just how uncomfortable I get. Or sometimes even just think I may get. Because when it is compared to some of the things I have done, it just doesn't seem to match.

Somewhere along the way, something known as life seems to changed the once rambunctious, full of confidence, give anything a go girl, into what appears at times to be a mere shell of what was once. Now the mere thought of having to leave the house and interact with more than two people at once takes days of preparation. Both logistical and mental.

But I digress, the topic I was going to educate you on, was not my ridiculous internal thoughts that quite possibly prevent me from living life to the fullest. More than likely you have plenty of your own to worry about anyway.

Mind you I decided that infant massage wasn't what I was going share my knowledge on either. Even though it was a while ago I have written about how infant massage can help dads bond with their newborn previously. In fact it was not that long after writing that article I realised that I would never really make it as an Infant Massage Instructor.

Don't get me wrong I am still to this day passionate about the benefits of massage, not just for infants as well, it's just the whole getting out there and selling myself to the world at large. It is not really one of my strongest points.

And as awesome as it might have been having strangers give me money so I could share my awesomeness (knowledge in infant massage techniques) with them I just didn't feel comfortable about it all. Read as I was too scared to really try for fear of failing but that is a post for another day as well

Now where was I in regards to knowing something to share...

I know that I am really enjoying the challenges for the #BlogEveryDayInMay challenge over at Stories Of My Life

I know that I was amazed to see 668 linkers on the first day. That just blows my little mind away. I guess this is one linky party where I won't be getting around to every blog that joins in.

I know that when I realised if I thought about it the right way I would be able to give this post a double whamy with the linky love and join in with Things I Know with the ever lovely Miss Cinders

I know that it is one of my favourite linky's as we all know stuff.

I know that I have actually shared so many things that I know through that linky you should just go and check them out for yourself  here

My Life - 250 words or less #BlogEveryDayInMay

I don't really know why I stopped making things matter. Or at least stopped writing here about making things matter.

I guess it doesn't really matter either way.

Today as I surfed around the net, unable to do anything because my back is sore (made worse by sitting but I got sick of laying down) I noticed a few bloggers with posts showing a button like the one below.

After a bit of investigation I found myself here. Which is actually where the button will take you just in a new page
I can't really explain why but for some reason I wasn't comfortable with doing it on A Parenting Life. Well I didn't want to put this post there at least. I think it has something to do with the fact I already have a few posts mentally lined up there and I couldn't see how I could fit anything else in.  While I may not have blogged every day there, I have been a lot more regular of late than what I once was. This lovely space however has been blank for far too long. It feels nice actually to be opening it all back up here. Not that I ever actually closed it but you know what I mean. So the #BlogEveryDayInMay challenge today is The story of your life in 250 words or less (or one paragraph... no one will be counting your words... probably)
So with that in mind.

Born to a loving couple and forever told the beauty of being a love child. Is now married to the man of her dreams with three beautiful children to boot.

The memory of school is met with mixed emotions. The joy of learning could never be denied but the experience as a whole is not joyous as such. Graduated high school to then have two incomplete degrees. Which apparently do not make a whole.

Proud Territory representative of the debate team at the national championship and once avid public speaker. However whether such skills are still current remains to be seen

Somewhere in amongst it all there have been numerous piercings and a shaved head. There has never been ink and it is expected to remain that way as well.

While currently gainfully unemployed, there have been instances where hard work was the norm. And quite often enjoyed. Retail, waitressing, motel management and marketing a few of the roles enjoyed. Quietly hoping that one day the acclaimed writing thing comes true.

At times quite the resistor to change. When it is clear that change is unavoidable it is preferred to be carried out a slower than a snails pace. However a twelve month road trip is currently being planned. Lots of change will have to occur for it to happen.

Sender of fairy wishes and butterfly kisses when ever the occasion may deem it necessary. Optimism and hope seem to always shine through, at least in someway.

And that's a wrap. My life in 250 words or less. 

In case you were wondering, and to save you counting, if you really needed to know, it was 247.