Making Time To Make Me Matter

Like most mothers I am guilty of neglecting my own needs in the pursuit of attaining happiness for others. Up until recently this caused me no concern. In fact I almost relished it. I found my happiness in making sure others were happy.

Only lately something has changed.

Sure I still joy in bringing joy to others but now I am starting to understand the importance of putting my own needs first, at least every now and then. A recent trip to the hairdresser and a few little child free outings have reminded me that there is more to me than just being a mum. Not that mums ever really are just a mum but I am fairly certain you all know what I mean.

If you are a regular reader over at A Parenting Life, (and if you are not you should be that place is awesome) you may have noticed that I have been in the doldrums of late. To say life has been a struggle is an understatement. Some mornings just getting out of bed takes more energy than I can easily find.

Life, if you could really call it that, is some where between tedious and monotonous. In may even be a combination of both with a heap of emptiness thrown in for good measure. I am so busy wallowing around in a cesspool of self pity, trying to keep my head above it all that I can't see the forest for all the trees.

Or perhaps it is the never ending stream of chores that constantly need doing that are blocking my vision to happy. Washing baskets seem to be constantly overflowing, both clean and dirty. I tried putting it on the couch in the hope that would motivate me to get it folded and put away instantly, you know because I wouldn't have anywhere to sit. Then I realised I rarely sat on the couch anyway.

Oh and the dishes, don't even get me started on the dishes...

I am sure you get the point.

All of this has been creating a monster in me. One that I am sad to say has been unleashed a few too many times lately for my liking and one that I wish would just go away. Only deep down I know that I am the only one that can make that happen.

This constant running in circles, yet never getting anywhere has left me drained and exhausted. Life doesn't feel like it was meant to be and it has finally taken it's toll.

The good news is

because there is always

and I am nothing if not full of hope.

So from this day forth I will make sure that I make the time to stop and think of me and my happiness. 

I will actively and purposefully seek out something each and every day that is all about me. Carried out purely for my pleasure and happiness. Be it go for a run, write a blog post, have a coffee, sit quietly and gather my thoughts. What ever! As long as it is something that is only for me and something I want to do.

I will remind myself that being a mum and staying at home is my choice. It is something that I want to do and apart from the last little while, something I have greatly enjoyed for some eleven years. Something that has only stopped being so enjoyable because of my attitude.

For as much as I think I can't control a lot of things, there are so many that I can. In fact most of what happens in my daily life is a direct result of my actions and choices.

Joining in with Jess and the crew for