August 7, 2012

Pausing For Inspiration

As I watched this particular sunset I felt full of inspiration.  The world was my oyster and I was ready to take it on.  Surrounded by such beauty and wonderous colours, a peaceful tranquility was created that made it hard for my mind not to runaway with itself.  

Sitting there I thought of all the wonderful things I could write about.  Thoughts that I wanted to share, feelings I had felt that others would surely want to know about.  A whole bunch of amazing things that would of course leave my reader feeling as equally as inspired and full of wonder as what I currently was.  Or at least make them think of something differently for a moment or two.  

It felt good.

Actually it felt better than good.  

As the sun was setting, ending yet another day it felt like I could do anything.  Right there, in that moment I was free from fears and self doubt.  There was nothing, not even myself, holding me back.  The vastness of the sky and ocean before me was full of nothing but hope and opportunity.

Naturally this would have been the perfect time for me to write.  Had it not been for the fact I was miles away from my computer and with the sunlight fading there was not enough light for the old fashioned pen and paper.  Not that it really bothered me though.  I was happily soaking up the moment and taking in as much as I could.  It was like my mind was bottling it all so I could take it home with me.

Fast forward two days to when I get home though and it appears as if my bottling skills may need a bit of honing.  Either that or my bottle has a leak.  

Perhaps it is even a combination of them both.  Who knows?  

All I know is that when I finally get the chance to sit down and write my mind goes to such a jumbled mess that it may as well be blank.  I can't help but think that blank would be a blessing.  At least it would leave room to start again, which right now seems more appealing than trying to wade through all the ideas that are currently vying for attention in there.

That's what I do you see.  Decide that it is all too hard and start again.  I wrongly think that it is easier that way.  Sometimes it might be, but there are many times when really it would be much better to just focus and get on with it.  Naturally so much easier said than done.

Since I started writing this post, I have been up and down from the computer at least a dozen times.  I have washed dishes, fed children, made lunches, did the school drop off thing, visited my mother and even put a load of washing on.  Which is probably about to start demanding to be hung out.  I have one of those rather rude machines that upon completion of a cycle intermittently beeps until you do something about it. 

Some five hours have passed.

Not only is it hard to maintain the flow of the post, but having faith that the words before me are worth the angst of getting them out.   I don't cope well with having to put a post aside while I tend to life.  Rather than enjoying breakfast time chatting over cereal and making the most of my time with my beautiful girls, I find myself rushing them through so I can bundle them off in search of that seemingly elusive writing time.
I want to use the pause button for life just once, instead of it always going to the writing.  Even as I write these last two paragraphs I have gotten up and down three times.  And even if one of those times was so I could put a sleeping child down and fix myself some food and drink to enable more uninterrupted screen time, I would still rather have paused my need for nourishment.  Or better yet have someone bring me what I need.

Sigh.  Oh to dream.

Instead, now that I have everything aligned for perfect writing time, I am left feeling drained and wondering why I even bother with this crazy notion that I am destined to be a writer.  Destined to be a crack pot maybe.

As I was typing the the words  destined to be a writer there was a voice in my head saying you are writer.  Look at what you are doing RIGHT NOW.  Naturally he comes with an equally loud voice that taunts back.  I try hard not to listen to that one though.

Anyway incase you had failed to look at a calendar today it is Tuesday.  Which means only one thing 


  1. Oh, I know what you mean! So many times I've let inspiration slip me by. I get to the computer and my brain's all clogged up! It's truly frustrating and especially when you have so much other things to juggle with.
    Stick with it, Rhianna. You've written so many beautiful and inspiring posts. Don't ever doubt it. You are a writer.

    1. Thanks so much for your kind words Grace. Patience is just not one of my strong points, I want it all NOW!! (Mind you who doesn't) I will just keep plodding along though in the hope that one day it will all come together

  2. I get this. I have so many ideas for blog posts, that when I actually have time to sit and write, I draw a blank or decide they weren't that inspirational after all. I often think it is because I work part time and this is just a hobby, so it always gets put on the back burner, but in reality I know that even if I had all the time in the world, it would still happen. Life gets in the way sometimes, but that's cool xx

  3. I completely understand. When I am inspired, I am nowhere near a computer. The rest of the time there is so much going on around me, I can't get my thoughts straight. Rachel x

  4. I have started jotting down notes in my phone because it is often in the middle of the night, when I'm on the road or in some other completely inappropriate place that I am inspired!

  5. I love the way your write . I agree it is hard sometimes to maintain momentum and retain inspiration when mothering comes first.
    Keep at it Rhiana , you will get further than you imagine.

  6. I am forever carrying my phone or a notepad to jot things down... but then I would love to just sit and write. But that is often not realistic because of daily normality. Keep on going Rhiana and inspiration is forever around you x

  7. Trust your inner voice it is usually right!! thanks for popping by and commenting on my little blog. I did love your fairy wishes although around here its more like "trucks, trains and shirts full of stains" I have that on a photoframe and it sums upmy house perfectly!! I cannot wait for naptime to have a look around some more!!

  8. It's exhausting sometimes. I too hate to leave my flow, and so I tend to try to not do it until I know I can find the time uninterrupted, or at telecast to get the majority of it down.
    Nothing worse than missing those inspirational moments; so frustrating.

  9. Galileo Thermometers

    My web blog: Panasonic PT-AE8000

  10. The facts Behind The perfect Sno' Cone

    Feel free to surf to my blog post eurocasino **

  11. Korean Unique Year's Time Celebration: Seollal Lifestyle!

    my webpage; how to convert video to mp3

  12. Limb wear over the ages

    Feel free to visit my webpage - immigrant (

  13. Samsung BD-C7900 a model in 3d Blu-ray Participant Brief Understanding

    Here is my blog post paday loans uk