Making Time To Make Me Matter

Like most mothers I am guilty of neglecting my own needs in the pursuit of attaining happiness for others. Up until recently this caused me no concern. In fact I almost relished it. I found my happiness in making sure others were happy.

Only lately something has changed.

Sure I still joy in bringing joy to others but now I am starting to understand the importance of putting my own needs first, at least every now and then. A recent trip to the hairdresser and a few little child free outings have reminded me that there is more to me than just being a mum. Not that mums ever really are just a mum but I am fairly certain you all know what I mean.

If you are a regular reader over at A Parenting Life, (and if you are not you should be that place is awesome) you may have noticed that I have been in the doldrums of late. To say life has been a struggle is an understatement. Some mornings just getting out of bed takes more energy than I can easily find.

Life, if you could really call it that, is some where between tedious and monotonous. In may even be a combination of both with a heap of emptiness thrown in for good measure. I am so busy wallowing around in a cesspool of self pity, trying to keep my head above it all that I can't see the forest for all the trees.

Or perhaps it is the never ending stream of chores that constantly need doing that are blocking my vision to happy. Washing baskets seem to be constantly overflowing, both clean and dirty. I tried putting it on the couch in the hope that would motivate me to get it folded and put away instantly, you know because I wouldn't have anywhere to sit. Then I realised I rarely sat on the couch anyway.

Oh and the dishes, don't even get me started on the dishes...

I am sure you get the point.

All of this has been creating a monster in me. One that I am sad to say has been unleashed a few too many times lately for my liking and one that I wish would just go away. Only deep down I know that I am the only one that can make that happen.

This constant running in circles, yet never getting anywhere has left me drained and exhausted. Life doesn't feel like it was meant to be and it has finally taken it's toll.

The good news is

because there is always

and I am nothing if not full of hope.

So from this day forth I will make sure that I make the time to stop and think of me and my happiness. 

I will actively and purposefully seek out something each and every day that is all about me. Carried out purely for my pleasure and happiness. Be it go for a run, write a blog post, have a coffee, sit quietly and gather my thoughts. What ever! As long as it is something that is only for me and something I want to do.

I will remind myself that being a mum and staying at home is my choice. It is something that I want to do and apart from the last little while, something I have greatly enjoyed for some eleven years. Something that has only stopped being so enjoyable because of my attitude.

For as much as I think I can't control a lot of things, there are so many that I can. In fact most of what happens in my daily life is a direct result of my actions and choices.

Joining in with Jess and the crew for

I Need Your HELP! A NaNoWriMo Plea

November is NaNoWriMo. It is where crazed writers try to churn out fifty thousand words in the hope of one day calling it a novel. A challenge that not all can accomplish but well worth it for those who do. The satisfaction of so many words is indescribable. A feeling I really want come November 30.

Source

As I sit here and write I am feeling beyond cool. My arse is firmly planted on a chair while Miss Two happily runs around the air conditioned indoor playground as I sip a rather delicious cappuccino. According to the man on the radio this morning today is bound to shape up as a stinker so I thought I would retreat indoors before I had the chance to discover whether or not they were right.

Really life couldn't be better.

Well supposedly.

The cold hard truth of reality is that on many levels life could be a helluva lot better. But it could also be a lot worse so I am happy to stick with the it's all rosie notion. Because that's what looking for the silver lining and I am always on the look out for that.

Plus most of the areas where there are room for improvement are a direct result of my attitude and how I deal with the situation. Which kinda means that unless I am prepared to change said attitude there is little to no point complaining about it all.

To say I have been grouchy, grumbly and just generally in a bad way of late is possibly an understatement. A bear with a sore paw would make less fuss than what I have lately. In my defense though I do seem to be fighting off a tooth infection. Sigh. No I am not going to a dentist.

Moving along.

One of the first world issues that is getting me down is the lack of readers I feel I have. Or rather the lack of reach I have. Stupid I know. But there you have it. Keeping it all locked inside isn't working so best I spit it out.

You know how it goes, more numbers, more opportunities, more free stuff, just more. Everyone wants their fifteen minutes in the sun. What ego doesn't like being stroked from time to time? In many ways it is only natural. Especially when you can see so many others getting a piece of cake.

Thankfully for me my sensibilities kick in. I know all the hard work that I am sure other bloggers put in. Or rather I know how little effort I put in at times. That is what needs to change before anything else.

Once I try my best then all will work out for the best. That's how it works isn't it?

So with that in mind I am off to instill some discipline within these here fingertips of mine and I calling on you to help me.

In a bid to not be overwhelmed with writing one whole long story over thirty days I am going to write 30 short stories over 30 days which is where you come in. To help me come up with story lines I am asking readers to give me a few prompts to get me started.

So think of a location, object and a genre and hit me with it. Each day I will select one suggest and turn it into a 1800 word masterpiece. Suggestions can be left here in the comments or on my Facebook page. All stories will be published over at Fly By Fiction. Feel free to head over the now and sign up to a feed so you don't miss out on seeing any of the great yarns that I am sure will be told.

Flogging with Grace

Tuesday's Tune

Wanting to develop some structure and regularity to this little piece of the Internet, and being a mad lover of all things linky, I am happily jumping on board Thea's Tuesday's Tunes. Last week it just so happened I had recently blogged about my iTunes player's great selection so it was super easy.

This week I am trying my hardest to be super organised. In fact I am trying so hard, this is actually being written some four days in advance. Ironically it is even before I wrote Friday's FYBF post. Which was the whole reason I came to be at Mac in the first place.

But I digress. This is after all meant to be about a tune.

This week's tune comes from Mumford & Sons. One of my all time favourites. I just love everything about these guys. Their sound just rocks my soul and speaks deep to my being. I find great comfort and strength in their lyrics, this is particularly true for The Cave.

So much so I couldn't help but share them all.

It's empty in the valley of your heart

The sun, it rises slowly as you walk

Away from all the fears

And all the faults you've left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat

You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see

But I have seen the same

I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time

You take what is yours and I'll take mine

Now let me at the truth

Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears

I can see widows and orphans through my tears

I know my call despite my faults

And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands

And see the world hanging upside down

You can understand dependence

When you know the maker's land

So make your siren's call

And sing all you want

I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now

And I need to know how

To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again

Seriously I have just sat here for some twenty minutes trying to choose which of these words speak to me the deepest and I just couldn't do. The more I read and re-read them the more I realised that it is the combination of all these words that make them so powerful.

When I birthed Miss Two, Mumford & Sons album Sigh No More, was played so much that the rather rude Midwife asked if perhaps she could change the CD as she had heard it enough. Poor woes her I said.

Joining in with Thea for her

 And because it is Tuesday and this is a blog, I am Blogging on Tuesday with Diary of a SAHM

A hot date and I take being really really ridiculously good looking to a whole new level

Saturday was Mr Awesome's birthday. I was certain that it would provide me with ample opportunity to strut my really really ridiculously good looking self. After all we had lunch booked in with our mothers and while details were sketchy we had a few hours in the evening put aside for a hot date.

Lunch was to be a simple affair down at the local sports club. As a valued member, Mr Awesome, had been sent a $20 voucher to celebrate his special day. We had arranged to meet everyone at 12pm. Naturally at 11.45 we were not even close to being ready to leave so we rang and told everyone to push it back by half an hour. Turns out this suited everyone better anyway.

Even though we were rushing and running late I took the time for a bit of mascara and lippy. Well I coloured my lips in with a lip liner and then rubbed some Vaseline over them for a bit of a shine. That is like lippy isn't it?

Anyway what I didn't do was stop and take a photo of my efforts. Which is a shame because my effort also included wearing a skirt and that doesn't happen every day of the week let me tell you. As we were racing out the door I made some passing remark about how I went to extra effort now in case the whole hot date thing didn't work out. It was almost like my sub conscious could foresee the evening's events.


Cutting a long story short we did manage to make it out. Living life on an edge we randomly decided to catch a bus into the city and go to dinner. Only we didn't exactly leave ourselves enough time to get ready. This resulted in us racing out the door in pretty much the same clothes we wore to lunch except I ditched the skirt in favour of rolled up jeans. Rolled up on account it is to darn hot to wear them otherwise.

Sharing the above photo on my Facebook page Lauren kindly reminded me of what a great opportunity this could be to join in #RRRGL. Or at least it would have been had I not been wearing clothes that I was sure I had already blogged about.

Not wanting to lose an opportunity though I took a few more selfies while waiting for the bus home.

In the first couple I worried my eyes didn't look open. Clearly I then over compensated for that.

Just in case you wanted to see what my rolled up jeans looked like.
Oh and my orange shoes. I love them. Which is lucky because other than sneakers and thongs they are all I have to cover my little feet up with. And to show you that I really had gone all out there is my arm with an extra two bangles on. All out I tell you.

Joining in with all the other really really ridiculously good looking people

Songs on Sunday

Despite spending the greater portion of the week cleaning the house is still in need of  a quick once over. It is such a vicious never ending cycle that we are all to well aware of. In a bid to make this dreariness somewhat bearable I like to listen to music.

Since I find decision making tricky at times I tend to just let iTunes select what is played. Though I do skip through a few here and there. On the whole it is not to bad. Though it does only stand to reason that I would like whatever is played based on the fact that it is my music collection and all.

Every now and then though there comes a stretch of great songs. As I sat down to write this post that very moment was occurring. iTunes had kindly selected one of my favourite songs. Well a cover version of it any way.

From Little Things Big Things grow has been up there in my top favourite list. Having Dan Sultan sing it though just makes my knees go gooey. Dan Sultan has seriously got the look if you know what I mean. He is my school girl giggly, gets me juicy guy.

But moving along.

I am not sure what relevance that has to anything. iTunes had kindly selected the above song for my listening pleasure. As Dan gets to his bit I suddenly realise I could probably view it on YouTube. And low and behold...

The rest, as they say is history.

Next up was

Which while not having quite the same effect on me as Sultan it is still a rather enjoyable tune to do the cleaning to. It is no good for writing as I get to caught up in the heart warming lyrics.

So there you have it, some of the songs I am listening to this Sunday.

What are you up to? Or better still what songs are you listening to?

Joining in with Thea for her Tuesday Tunes

Not quite making the mark, but by no means throwing in the towel

So my plans of moving for thirty minutes a day have not gone so well this week. One may even think that for a few days I actually forgot about my commitment to #OperationMOVE with the ever lovely Kate Says Stuff. The main reason why one may think that is because I pretty much did.

How that happened I am not really sure but it did. After I posted on Friday it was like all thought of exercise just left my mind. Mind you it does appear as if my mind is just a little blank at the moment anyway. Two weeks into it and twice I forget to update Kate on how many minutes I have moved for.

Go me hey?

It is not all doom and gloom though. While I may not have been moving as much as I did in the first week I still have managed to kick to a few goals.

Like on Tuesday when according to my groovy little running app, I had and average pace of 5.18/min/km and a distance of 5.83km for a total of 31 minutes. Run Rhianna Run!

Me after realising the awesomeness of run

Halfway through I started to feel more than just a little buggered let me tell you. I put it down to the run the day before plus all the activity I did in the pool, moments before I embarked on my attempt to break my own personal land speed record.

Did I mention that my app tells me I ran the fourth kilometer with an average pace of 3.53min/km?

There is a part of me that keeps thinking that the app must be wrong. There must be a crossed wire or something. But then there is another part of me that thinks these apps don't get that kind of thing wrong. Do they?

If they do please don't tell me. I am really enjoying the more than awesome that I am currently feeling. Or at least I feel until I remember that I haven't done anything since then. Well I have got a heap of housework and cleaning out the way but not much exercise. Not anything that counts as moving anyway.

So what has been my movement for the week?

Well I went for my amazing 31 minute run on Tuesday. This followed a not so amazing 31 minute run on Monday. As well as 20 minute self guided aqua aerobics on both days. For a grand total of 102 minutes. Adding today/s ten minute bike ride and the week is sitting not so pretty at 112 minutes.  Some thirteen minutes shorter than last week.

So as of today my total movement minutes for the month are 250. Out of 930. Man that seems a lot right now. Best I get going I guess.

What about you? 

Are you part of #OperationMove? 

How did you go this week?

Joining in with

Being Really Really Ridiculously Active and Good Looking

Now I am sure #RRRGL regulars may have been wondering where I slipped off to. With the wedding and the road trip blogging has been at a minimal. I had hoped by now that I would have come across some beautiful photos of myself at my sister's wedding. I haven't. In fact I have barely come across any photos of me at all. Good or otherwise. I am starting to wonder if I was even there?

Thankfully he still hasn't seen the photographer's shots so there is still hope. Which means I will post pone that post for at least another week.

Which is not such a bad thing as it means I can share some of the other funky outfits that I have adorned lately. I there were of course occasions when funky outfits adorned my body.

Instead I give to you this

Yep that is me running. In my not favourite running outfit. It was all a spur of the moment thing. Not the running things, I had that planned all day long. The photo thing was a bit spur of the moment. As I was running I came across this beautiful tree. Since there was a track looping around it I thought I would try my hand at photos on the run.

Because you know, isn't that what Bloggers do?

Anyway I had the camera all ready and waiting for me to get back round near the tree and I thought I wonder what I look like while I run? Well wondering I am no more and now neither are you. And yes taking this was not as easy as you would think.

So there is me with my rather awesome Oakley sunnies that Mr Awesome and the kids got me for mother's day. They are so much lighter than my old ones that I am sure I started running faster with them.

The shirt is a K-Mart special and probably four years old. Though it has really only been the last twelve months that have seen it out and about. Rather pleasingly it is somewhat baggier than when I first got it. Though just between you and me that may purely be because the material has stretched as much as I have shrunk.

The tights are again a K-Mart special. We are after all a single income family and how many horror stories do we know of ridiculous amounts of money being forked out for exercise clothes that never get worn. Having said that though I did score a pair of Adidas running tights from A-Mart for $10 and OMG! The difference is certainly noticeable. So much so that now I am a running addict I may just start treating myself with more in that range.

As for the tree? Well. Don't ask. The photo was so dismal and so not anything like a beautiful tree in full bloom that I deleted the moment I looked at it. It is only now that I am thinking I should have shared it here. Nothing like a little laugh at my expense. Next time I promise.

Joining in with the gorgeous Lauren over at 

The Surprise Beginning who is frocking it up for Frocktober

Oh and it's Tuesday and I am blogging check out 

#IBOT @Diary of a SAHM

-fairy wishes and butterfly kisses

Make it Matter - A Plan For the Week

Traditionally I have been all about Make it Matter Monday. Only for the last few weeks, perhaps even months, that has not worked out to well for me. The main reason for this I think is because by the time Monday gets here I already need to be set up and ready to go. Well that and the fact that Monday is also the day that The Surprise Beginning hosts her Really Really Ridiculously Good Looking meme I love joining in there.

So here we are on a Sunday getting ready to make the week ahead matter.

As I type my house is somewhere between an atrocious disaster and a pigsty. I guess it just depends on your preference. Either way both of them signify that my house is in dire need of attention. Which probably explains my overwhelming urge to blog. Though the impending meal time and expectation of food probably has something to do with that as well. The desire to blog is often strongest when time to blog is not really available. I wonder why that is?

Anyway back to making a plan.

With the kidlets going back to school for the final ten week term time is of the essence. Hopefully I should have plenty more of it to do with as I wish. The holiday week was jam packed with child requested activities. Which was fine at the time but right now I just want to do what I want. (again explains why I am blogging)

The first thing that I apparently want to do is finish unpacking from our adventures. Yes I know we have been home two weeks now, what is your point? Thankfully there is only one suitcase to go and I am actually tempted to just donate it all to charity because we haven't needed anything out of there for two weeks now...

Next on the list is the girls bedroom. Urgh is all I have to say about that. I am thinking a good cull is in order here as well because given the crap that is constantly strewn all over the floor the cupboards must be busting at the hinges.

All the usual stuff like be present, keep the kitchen clean and Mount Washmore will also apply. And because I like to think I perform best under pressure I am going to throw in some floor washing and vacuuming, running and regular writing.

Go me hey?

Getting back into action

For the whole month of September I sat on the sidelines watching others participating in #OperationMOVE over at Kate Says Stuff. With the wedding and the road trip and all that I just knew there was no point setting myself ridiculous fitness goals while on holidays.

Having said that though I did take my runners with me and what's more I even used them. I then delighted in telling anyone who would listen that I was a runner. Not a very fast runner but a runner nonetheless and that as all that really matters. Sometimes I wonder how even I manage to fit in my own lunchbox

Needless to say I was over the moon when I saw that #OperationMOVE would be continued in October.

While the first week of the month is school holidays I am still going to commit to thirty minutes a day. Which equates to 900 minutes over the month. One of the things I loved most about this concept when Kate first posted about was the way she explained all the different types of movement you could include.

You know playing wiiFit with the kidlets or dancing to some tunes or a who,e range of other fun stuff. This kind of idea is perfect for a non committed easily distracted kind of gal like me.

So with that in mind here is how I have made up my minutes so far

Monday October 1 - 20 minute run with kids on bikes and scooters, 10 minute walk

Tuesday October 2 - 15 minute self guided water aerobics, 15 minutes Dance Party 3, sadly I am not really a co ordinated mover or groover.

Wednesday October 3 - Rode bike 4.5km to park, walked around park and enjoyed free activities for the kids provided by the local council. Rode home via the supermarket (3.7km but not sure how that works dodgy Runkeeper). I did try and time myself but forgot to check my timer upon arrival. Pretty sure we were longer than 30 minutes but that is all I a going to claim. I also tried my little water aerobics routine as well.

Thursday October 4 - 15 minutes running in pool (water between chest to waist), further 20 minutes playing in pool with kidlets, this included a few championship races iykwim

Not a bad overall I guess but I had hoped for a bit more bike riding or running proper in there. With the onset of school next week, combined with the crack of dawn seeming somewhat earlier, I am hoping to introduce some early morning runs. The sudden increase in the day time temperature is also causing me to rethink when I run.

Above all else though I am excited to have cause to again keep fitness in the forefront of my mind. Till next week folks stay happy and healthy!

Signing up for

Make it Matter Monday or rather Make What Matter When?

It seems like forever since I have made the time time make stuff matter, especially on a Monday. Mind you I have been off on another outback adventure so I do sort of have a valid reason.



Now that we have returned from our journeys life must return to normal. Or at least some resemblance to it. Though right now I am no longer feeling the love for normal or the way things were. Being away made me feel like a whole different person, one that I was a bit fond of as well.

It was one that didn't need to keep nagging children to do things because they would just get done the first time. The listening and compliance of girls on holidays was just amazing. At least for the most part it was. There was also a lot less bickering and just generally mothering felt so much easier than the normal day to day struggles that can at times ensue.

There is a part of me, and a rather large part at that, that longs to hit the road and never come back. At least not for a long time. There is so much of this wonderful country to show the girls, and myself, that staying at home feels like a bit of a waste.

In my head it all seems so easy. Pack the house up, buy a trailer, traipse around the country side giving the girls wonderful life changing experiences that will help shape them into even awesomer human beings than what they are already set to be. Feeling slightly jaded by the education system I am confident that I have what it takes to ensure that throughout all of this they still learn how to read, write and count.

Naturally reality doesn't quite paint the same picture. Or even close. Reality involves money, that apparently does not grow on trees. Sigh.

Not that I am going to let it get me down.

Mr Awesome has around eighteen months to his get some long service leave. Which equates to a three month long paid holiday. Plenty of time to start planning the adventure of a life time.

So that is what is going to matter for a while. Finding a way to make a dream come true. Sounds easy when I say it like that doesn't it?


Fairy wishes & butterfly kisses

Why being really really ridiculously good looking matters

Well actually that is not true. Being really really ridiculously good looking is not important. Feeling really really ridiculously good looking however is something else altogether.

In fact that is what really matters.

Feeling really really ridiculously good looking

Since discovering this rather lovely little link up a few months ago I have started to change the way I think and possibly even feel about my appearance. I realised that I rarely felt anything towards my appearance.

Sure it is great to be comfortable with ones self but perhaps it is possible to have to much of a good thing.

Never having been a corporate high flyer or any other professional kind of worker for that matter, I have never had to dress for work as such. In fact the only standard that I have ever really needed to maintain is the one that states when out in public clothing of some description is worn.

Living in a tropical paradise means that everything is relaxed and comfort is the key. Both of which work rather well for me. However, as I am fast discovering with a little thought and effort here and there a relaxed, comfortable feel can still have a bit of flair.

Friday was the school's traditional Father's day breakfast. It also happened that Miss Eleven was performing at assembly. Such an occasion is surely worthy of both a blog post and a little extra omphff on the day?

Well I thought it was, so I made sure I chose something bright and cheery.

The skirt, in case you are wondering, is a handmade original from Monsoons & Mangoes. I used to be able to say a local designer but she recently left the tropical wonderland that is my home for a more southern location.

Due to my poorly emerging photo skills I neglected to capture the rather groovy side pocket. It is a gorgeous blue and just the handiest thing ever. Generally speaking I am a pants gal due to the pocket factor. I am lost without pockets. The novelty of a pocket on a skirt is beyond awesome.

I normally like to wear a blue singlet with this but black won out on Friday due to jelly making that was planned with the year one class that afternoon.

Once again this was a big week for dressing up. Saturday I tried something different by rolling my jeans into 3/4 length. They are quite wide so it works rather well and allows for a bit of extra (and needed) air flow. Adding to the list of reasons as to why I am not a blogger of the year is the fact I forgot to take a photo. I always seem to forget the photo, well apart from the one above that is...

What I don't forget though is that on Tuesday bloggers unite,

So this post not only joins in with Lauren for

but also with the lovely Jess for

Things I (don't) Know About People and Life

Blogging this week has taken a bit of a back seat. To what I am not exactly sure I just know that I have not been able to get much (anything) out. I even failed to get something up for IBOT which regular A Parenting Life readers will know does not happen very often.

A week that sees me also forgo Thankful Thursday is also a bit of a rarity. It was not because I am lacking in thanks either. More so a case of motivation I think. I am on the verge of being a little overwhelmed by how much I actually have to do. This is always a sure fire sign that motivation is about to walk our the door.

Next Friday we are meant to be on the road to Cairns. However it now appears that Miss Eleven may have a hockey grand final to play on the Saturday so we could be slightly delayed. The following Friday my baby sister is getting married. No wonder my head is spinning circles.

I can still remember the day she was born. It was on my seventh birthday and even now I can recall how amazed and incredibly blessed I felt. Sitting on the swing in the front garden after my party, waiting to go and meet her. All so surreal I was sure that I must have been dreaming. She was a dream come true and to this day the best present I have ever been given.

But alas I digress. I am meant to be sharing some things I know.

I know that judging people is not always advisable. Nor is thinking ill of them.

The grumpy sales assistant at Spotlight, the one I will wait to be served by someone else rather than him, turns out to be not so grumpy when not at work. The other week at the Kenny Rogers concert, when we had squashed into a tiny empty space next to his rather large, yet empty blanket, he actually offered us some of his spare blanket. I now know I was wrong to judge.

Way back at the start of June I wrote a letter. It was a release of rage that had built up over the frustrations I let another parent build in me. I thought ill of them and wondered why they were out to get me if you will. Recent weeks however have seen this same person go out of their way to be more than nice to me. Compliments and smiles whenever she can. I now know I shouldn't have assumed the worst.

I know that when I started writing this post I had much more to say than this. 

Or at least I thought I did. Though perhaps the fact that it is now way passed stupid o'clock and I should be tucked up in bed fast asleep has something to do with my inability to think straight.

So there you have it, turns out I am not overly knowledgeable today, but I do know that all the cool bloggers are sharing what they know here

And I also know that a Friday Flog is always a good idea

Making Time to Look Pretty

On the whole I spend somewhere between little to no time on my appearance. Thankfully for me I pretty much live in hicksville so it doesn't really matter. As long as all the important bits are covered no one really cares what you are wearing. Thanks to the sweltering heat that is present for nearly ninety percent of the year there is also no expectation for make up either. Which is also great because my skills in that department leave a lot to be desired.

Mind you I haven't always been this way.

Well I have on the make up front but there was a time when I would give some thought to how I looked. Back in another life, before children, when I was fresh out of home and high school, I worked in the fashion industry. Well I worked in the only surf shop in a town that had no surf. It also happened to be the only place in the surfless town that you could purchase a whole range of exclusive labels.

Oh how I loved those days. Sure it might not have been high rolling fashion, but it did provide me with the largest wardrobe ever. Some days when the washing had eluded me, or rather I was out partying and neglected to get around to ensuring there were clean clothes for the next day, I would just go to work ten minutes early to allow myself enough time to get a new outfit.

Staff discount and a layby I was able to take home before I had paid it off are certainly some great perks that I sorely miss, even to this day. But I digress. This was not supposed to be a nostalgic walk down memory lane. This is supposed to be are rather awesome post telling you how really really ridiculously good looking I am.

It has been a month or more since I first came across this awesome meme. To start with I didn't think it would be something I could join in with because seriously who wants to look at photos of this week in and week out.

Since that is pretty much all I wear. Simple, comfortable and totally suitable for kid wrangling in warm weather.

Actually sometimes I spice it up with a singlet rather than the T-shirt and lately I have been seen at school of a morning in some running gear as I pretend that is what I am going to do upon completing drop off duties. Sadly my running has stalled a little in recent weeks, apparently just wearing the clothes is not enough. But again I am digressing.

Thankfully a few weeks after I discovered this link up I had a hen's night and a wedding to attend. A reason (or two) to actually get dressed up and dust off the lippy. All with the added bonus of getting to blog about it.

Since then however my social calendar that requires my 'special' or non everyday clothes as been somewhat blank. The few occasions I have gone to any extra effort I was wearing the same clothes as I first posted about...oh for my younger surf shop working days with endless choices.

Last week however something happened. Breaking from the traditional mundane that some weeks can be I spiced it up with a lunch date in the city with a friend. An adults only lunch date actually. Taking full advantage of this great blogging opportunity I thought I would dress myself up a bit.

Now I just need to work on my selfie photo taking skills!

This highly fashionable post joins in not just with The Surprise Beginning but since it has taken nearly all night to write and it is now the very early hours of Tuesday it gets to link up with Diary of a SAHM for her rather awesome meme

Make It Matter Monday - Time and Money

Recently I had a startling revelation. The year end is fast approaching. However before that happens my sister is having a wedding. Which means we get to have a little two week holiday driving over and back to Cairns. It will be the first time Mr Awesome and I will have travelled some of these roads so it will be super exciting to be showing it to our children.

Thankfully the girls enjoy the long empty roads as much as we do. Perhaps it is just in our blood? I have always loved the notion of being distantly related to the gypsies...

Anyway I suppose you are wondering how or why any of this matters. Well it goes a little like this. Obviously said holiday will cost some money. Money that will need to be saved. Money that I thought I still had plenty of time to save in.

Turns out the wedding is next month.

Yep. Just a few short weeks away.

Now before I create to much of a panic I must put things in perspective. I have quietly been stashing money here and there. Only it is in one of those tins that you only ever use once. I can't open it till two days before we go. It is essentially our petrol fund.

So here is what I need to focus on at the moment.

TIME - I must use it wisely, get done as much as I can. Waste as little as possible.

MONEY - Put as much of it as possible aside. Save, save, save. Must not spend.

All sounds pretty simple when I put it like that doesn't it. I think this calls for some iAssistance. Surely there is an app out there that can help me save money and organise my time? Please if you know of something that might fit the bill please let me know.

Even though it has been a while since I last did a MIMM post I can vaguely recall that what was meant to be mattering had to do with Miss Eleven. No seriously I know it was about using the language of love on her more. Which I did for a while, but could still certainly do with a bit more time in the forefront of my mind.

It sounds terrible, but it is something I need to keep reminding myself to do. Like yesterday when I discovered she had forgotten to bring the water cooler to the car. Any chance I ever had at Mother of the Year awards just got blown to smitherines.

All she had to worry about was putting the water for our picnic in the car. And yet somehow that was too hard. I went ballistic. To say the least. 

I had even asked her on the way, while it was still possible to go back and get it, if she brought the water cooler with her. She assured me she had, in her blase I'm so awesome because I'm 11 kind of way. 

I thought I was going to strangle her when I discovered she hadn't.

By the side of the I berated and carried on like an I don't know what but something pretty darn awful. I can't believe I let my anger and frustration explode forth from mouth like that. All over a stupid water cooler.

Sure she had done the wrong thing, and sure it had already been a more than trying morning, but still...talking to her in that manner was not exactly what a model mother would do. You know the one we all strive to be despite her existence being impossible to say the least.

Thankfully she is a forgiving soul and all was mended before too much further damage was done. She agreed that she was at fault. It serves as a reminder though of how constant mothering is. Especially when trying to change past behaviours and feelings. Though that is a post for another day.

What about you? What are you going to make matter this week?

Early morning wake ups and no milk

*Please be aware that this post will contain language that some may find offensive.  Let it be known that I will be using a word that starts with F and rhymes with duck.  Please consider yourself warned*

Yep that's right folks I am making time to get angry.  Or rather I am making time to share with you some of the things that have made me angry, or rather fucked me off lately.  Actually it will probably be more about the wonderful (not really) morning that I have until this point endured.

It is currently 7.47am Sunday morning.

After a night of sleep that was continually broken by a boob demanding child I was feeling rather pleased with myself for having convinced her that 5.36 was not in fact wake up time.  Sadly this was all short lived as not even an hour later we were horribly disturbed by the horrendous sound of an alarm clock.

That's right, Miss Eleven had not turned off her alarm.  For fuck sake!!  Good morning Sunday.

Naturally the booby fiend heard the ruckus and being smarter than your average bear knew that is signaled time to finally go downstairs.  I say finally because the little imp had been pleading with me to make the journey down below since about 2am when she first started waking.  Seeing Miss Eleven standing next to our bed only confirmed her greatest desire.

To say I was less than a happy camper is an understatement.

The part that really got my knickers in a twist was that I did have an early morning planned I just wanted to start it on my own accord.  I have a great internal alarm clock where I can just awaken at the required time.  Which is much more pleasant than the shit I went through this morning.  I don't like being woken up.

Trying hard to catch hold of a ray of sunshine, that was still waiting to rise, I thought a quick complain on Facebook may be what the doctor ordered.  While the kettle boiled I got the coffee ready and thought about what I would say. I also began to gather what I needed to make some muffins.  Because you know that is what Martha would do if she were up and about I'm sure.

So not only do I not have enough fresh milk for my muchly needed muffins, there is barely enough for my coffee.  Let me hear are are you fucking kidding me?

Thankfully I am cyclone ready and had some UHT milk on hand.  Which is guarannted to make my coffee taste crap but it is slightly better than no milk at all.

If ever the universe was telling me not to bother with something today was the day.  It wasn't just the bloody milk that I was low on either.  The gas bottle on the oven ran out while I was preheating it.  The recipe for the muffins I was making called for milk choc chips, choc chips and dark choc chips, being a triple choc recipe and all.  Do you think I had all three? Of course I fucking didn't.

I persevered though.  Despite not having enough patty cases either.  Surprisingly what didn't happen was that the muffins didn't burn.  Thank fuck for small mercies hey?

Anyway this post is linking up with the ever lovely Miss Cinders over at Saturday Morning Ogre Mum. She does have a cool button for here meme that is Lose Your Shit (LYS), only do think I can get it to work? Of course I fucking can't.

But wait there is more.

Miss Eleven, who has nearly been forgiven for her part in my awful start to the day, just opened the microwave and asked me why there is melted butter sitting in there.

Let me tell you why there is melted butter sitting in the microwave.  Because I forgot to put it in the fucking muffins.  For fuck sake.

Now part of LYS is that you also stop and take stock of awesome things around you as well.  Even at the lowest of lows there are always positives if you take the time to stop and look.  

1. While I may not have had all the choc chips that I needed I did have some lovely caramel chips that are beyond awesome.
2. UHT milk may not exactly be my preferred choice of milk but I am so pleased to have had some this morning.
3. Even though the gas bottle ran out I did have a spare ready and waiting to go
4. Despite not having any butter in them the muffins are edible.
5. It is Sunday.  As crap as the start of the day may have been there is still a lot of it left to go out and enjoy.  Which is exactly what I plan on doing.

Pausing For Inspiration

As I watched this particular sunset I felt full of inspiration.  The world was my oyster and I was ready to take it on.  Surrounded by such beauty and wonderous colours, a peaceful tranquility was created that made it hard for my mind not to runaway with itself.  

Sitting there I thought of all the wonderful things I could write about.  Thoughts that I wanted to share, feelings I had felt that others would surely want to know about.  A whole bunch of amazing things that would of course leave my reader feeling as equally as inspired and full of wonder as what I currently was.  Or at least make them think of something differently for a moment or two.  

It felt good.

Actually it felt better than good.  

As the sun was setting, ending yet another day it felt like I could do anything.  Right there, in that moment I was free from fears and self doubt.  There was nothing, not even myself, holding me back.  The vastness of the sky and ocean before me was full of nothing but hope and opportunity.

Naturally this would have been the perfect time for me to write.  Had it not been for the fact I was miles away from my computer and with the sunlight fading there was not enough light for the old fashioned pen and paper.  Not that it really bothered me though.  I was happily soaking up the moment and taking in as much as I could.  It was like my mind was bottling it all so I could take it home with me.

Fast forward two days to when I get home though and it appears as if my bottling skills may need a bit of honing.  Either that or my bottle has a leak.  

Perhaps it is even a combination of them both.  Who knows?  

All I know is that when I finally get the chance to sit down and write my mind goes to such a jumbled mess that it may as well be blank.  I can't help but think that blank would be a blessing.  At least it would leave room to start again, which right now seems more appealing than trying to wade through all the ideas that are currently vying for attention in there.

That's what I do you see.  Decide that it is all too hard and start again.  I wrongly think that it is easier that way.  Sometimes it might be, but there are many times when really it would be much better to just focus and get on with it.  Naturally so much easier said than done.

Since I started writing this post, I have been up and down from the computer at least a dozen times.  I have washed dishes, fed children, made lunches, did the school drop off thing, visited my mother and even put a load of washing on.  Which is probably about to start demanding to be hung out.  I have one of those rather rude machines that upon completion of a cycle intermittently beeps until you do something about it. 

Some five hours have passed.

Not only is it hard to maintain the flow of the post, but having faith that the words before me are worth the angst of getting them out.   I don't cope well with having to put a post aside while I tend to life.  Rather than enjoying breakfast time chatting over cereal and making the most of my time with my beautiful girls, I find myself rushing them through so I can bundle them off in search of that seemingly elusive writing time.

Source

I want to use the pause button for life just once, instead of it always going to the writing.  Even as I write these last two paragraphs I have gotten up and down three times.  And even if one of those times was so I could put a sleeping child down and fix myself some food and drink to enable more uninterrupted screen time, I would still rather have paused my need for nourishment.  Or better yet have someone bring me what I need.

Sigh.  Oh to dream.

Instead, now that I have everything aligned for perfect writing time, I am left feeling drained and wondering why I even bother with this crazy notion that I am destined to be a writer.  Destined to be a crack pot maybe.

As I was typing the the words  destined to be a writer there was a voice in my head saying you are writer.  Look at what you are doing RIGHT NOW.  Naturally he comes with an equally loud voice that taunts back.  I try hard not to listen to that one though.

Anyway incase you had failed to look at a calendar today it is Tuesday.  Which means only one thing 

@Diary of SAHM

Team Friday - Getting back into it

It's been a while since I have made the time to share how I have been making exercise matter.  While I have not been neglecting my exercise as much as I have been my blogging about it, I still haven't been reaching the goals that I had hoped for.

When I started running back in February the plan was to be able to run for thirty minutes.  Which also is meant to equate to 5km.  At this point in time I can run just about for thirty minutes.  By that I mean run for ten to fifteen minutes walk for 30 seconds to sometimes a minute and do it all again.  Actually I can run for four ten minute blocks with no more than a minute between runs.  

I can also run for 5km.  Actually I can run for up to 7km.  What I can not do though is get that 5km out in thirty minutes.  Luckily though I don't beat myself up about it, well not too much anyway.

When I completed the C25K program a few months ago I decided that the next logical step was to try the Bridge to 10K program.  Even though I can't get 5km out in 30 minutes I wanted to run for longer.  Sadly I am still on week one of that program.  Turns out I didn't have as much in me after 5km as what I thought I did.  

Despite the 10km feeling a little out of my league I have not given up.

The school holidays made it a little trickier than I would have liked to maintain my three times a week runs.  Though really I am just making weak excuses.  I did manage to get a few in here and there and had I really wanted to I am sure I could have gotten a few more in.  It was just easier to say having the kids around made it harder.

Not going three times a week really made it harder for the times I did get out there.  To save my morale from completely diminishing I decided to head back to the C25K and do runs that I already knew I could.  Best. Idea. Ever.

You see going back to runs that I once struggled with, that I now almost breezed through felt amazing.  I felt stronger and more empowered than ever before.  Running through stages that I had previously had to walk through let me see just how far I have actually come.

For two weeks I retraced my C25K steps.  Yesterday I redid a week one run from Bridge to 10km.  It was harder than the C25K but no where near as hard as when I first started.  In fact at the end of it, despite being a little disappointed with my distance, I was over the moon with the amount of time I was actually running.

From here I plan to keep on going with the 10km program.  Finding nearly an hour to run rather than thirty minutes is a little trickier than I expected but oh so worth it.  All the running events for this area are all over for the year but I am certainly looking forward to being able to enter some next year.

Joining in with Get On With it Already for

as well as With Some Grace for

Did you know I am really really ridiculously good looking?

No?  You didn't know that I was really really ridiculously good looking?  Well I am.  Or at least I was a couple of times over the past few days.  Which means I am in a position to join in with the lovely Lauren over at The Surprise Beginning.

Being one of the blogs that is at the top of my reading list I felt terrible when I saw her groovy button and had no idea what it was for.  How could I have missed one of my fav bloggers and a linky that she hosted?  Granted Monday's are not really one of my blog reading days, but still I thought I was a regular reader.

Anyway today I made the time to check out how I too could become a part of Really Really Ridiculously Good Looking Monday.  Much to my super excitement it turns out that it is super easy to join in.  If of course you did something a bit exciting and got dressed up and happen to look really really ridiculously good looking.

Which would you believe I happened to have done twice in the last few days!  yes yes I know that most people probably take/make the time to prettify themselves at least once a week but if you haven't worked it out by now I am not like most people.


Now where was I?

Oh that's right I was about to share with you how pretty I looked.  Though I should warn you it is not often that I even have my photo taken let alone share said photo with anyone else.

 So here I am in my lovely new orange shirt and accompanied by an equally new and lovely necklace.  I went all out and even got matching earrings which you can just see if you look really, really hard.

My sister's beautiful best friend (since like forever) got married this weekend and since they have been such best friends for such a long time I got to be a part of it all.

This was me already to party at the hens night.

As it turned out partying like the old days wasn't exactly what happened.  Instead I was left feeling rather over dressed and a lot older than what I actually am.

It was sort of nice wearing make up.

Though it did reinforce to me why I don't normally bother.  A mixed combination of lack of skill and time.  Which I am sure would both be fixed with a bit of practice but living in the tropics just doesn't seem to suit a made up face.


Fast forward a few days and it is time for the big day.  Thankfully I was able to reuse the rather expensive dress I purchased a few years back to wear for my brother's wedding. It is always nice to get a second wear out of things.

I think it is safe to say that self portraits for me do not necessarily provide the best of angles.  Something for me to work on in my free time I guess.

Due to the house cleaning taking longer than expected my preparation time was greatly shorter than I intended.  In fact it was so short that I was actually doing my hair in the taxi on the way to the ceremony.  Lucky for me I work well under pressure and am not what you would call high maintenance.

I didn't do as well with the make up this time round.  Mainly due to the lack of time but also due to the fact that at the hen's night I noticed how other people wore make up.  This sort of highlighted my own skills if you will.

Now I am pretty sure that the whole idea of this really, really ridiculously good looking meme is to release and share our feminine beauty.  You know be all positive about ourselves and all that.

I know on the surface it may sound as if I am being a little negative.  I assure you I am not.  It is mostly tongue in cheek.  Truth be told I did feel really, really ridiculously good looking.

How could I not with bling like that under my seemingly large bosom?

Not only does this post join in with 

but also

Make IT Matter Monday

It is really hard for me not to start this post with, OMFG, is it really already Monday again?  It just always feels like Monday pops around to quickly.  Unlike Friday which seems to take forever to get here.

This Monday is also the last day of the school holidays which means there is even less reason than normal to get excited (or not) about Monday.  While there is a little part of me that is sort of looking forward to the return of school there are many more larger parts of me that wonder if the whole school thing is really worth the while.  If it weren't for the fact the resumption of school allows for more running, writing and me time then I would be just fine for there to be no school.

But I digress.  This is not supposed to be a post about my lack of confidence and faith in the education system.  I am saving that one for a rainy day and I bet you can hardly wait.  What this post is supposed to be about though is what will matter to me over the next week.

Given that I am not an overly organised person I don't have any idea what that may or may not be.  Well that was the case until I read this slightly awesome post over at Diary of a SAHM.

For those to lazy to click the link and read the post for yourself it puts out a bit of a challenge.  One that just so happens to fit in with making it matter.

There is an idea that there are five languages of love.  Meaning that love, like any language has different ways of being communicated,  Most people tend to prefer to use one or two of these languages.  The challenge that Jess is putting out there is to choose which ever language is the hardest for you to communicate and make an effort to communicate to your family in that language.  Total brilliance or what?

The five languages of love are

• Physical Touch
• Encouraging Words
• Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Quality Time

For more information on the languages of love check out this wonderful series on the topic over at Life on a Hill.

I can't decide between focusing on Encouraging Words or Quality Time.  Both are areas that I think I struggle with the most.  Especially with my big girl.  It always seems harder with the older ones.  Not that it means they are loved any less just that encouraging words are easier to come by when there are always so many new and exciting things that the little ones do.

So that's what will matter here this week.  Giving encouraging words to all the girls, especially the biggest.  

What is going to matter this week at your house?

Are you going to take up the challenge?

I am going to #LMS

I know it should be #LYSF (Lose Your S**T Friday) but as Delightful Tacky Lil Squirts would say

Source

So if I wanna put #LMS (Lose MY S**T) as my post's title then by golly I will and don't dare anyone say anything about it!!!

Now as a rule I am all airy fairy and lets make love not war, peace to one and all and all that jazz.  I  don't see the point in holding on to negatives.  Sure there are times when things don't go the way you hoped but anger is not the way to deal with.  I guess I like to think I am a rather rational and level head person.  

Someone in control of their emotions.  Well at least most of the time.  There are instances when I may yell and scream but generally speaking they are not times I choose to share here.  Today I am not generally speaking.  Please be warned if you continue further into the post I can guarantee you that you will encounter an f bomb on at least one occasion, possibly more.  If this will offend you in any way please stop reading.  Consider yourself warned

Today I am fucked off in a rather major way.  And really, I shouldn't be.  But I am.  And that just makes it all a thousand times worse.

#FFS I say to it all.

Why? Why, must I drive around the god dam car park five times looking for a park near the entrance to the only shop I actually *need* to go to at the major shopping centre in town.  The shopping center that I would actually prefer to avoid like the plague yet have been there twice in the past two days.  

Neither of which were a pleasure as such.  On the second trip I was able to score a few bargains which may have made it an enjoyable outing had it not for the bad mood I ensued thanks to Miss Eleven's inability to act upon simple requests.

Why? Why must there be a newly erected fence preventing me from taking a short cut to somewhere I really needed wanted to go?  Making me think I would never be able to find the perfect top I needed to wear out.

What's that?  Did I say I was going out somewhere???  Surely not?  How could I be losing my shit over the opportunity to have a night out child free and in a totally adult environment?

Easily.

Coming home to a child who has spent the day being a total pain in the arse as only a pre-pubescent eleven year can be is a sure fire way to lose your shit and want to scream #FFS!!!

Given that the same child has refused to listen to a single request from you for what seems the whole week long it can be particularly trying dealing with their ever swing moods.  Somebody give me a gun cause I still get to go through this two more times.

Oh and that night out I spoke of.  

Well I got way over dressed and felt a lot older than what I am.  I felt humiliated by the fact that Miss Pain in the Arse I spoke of earlier can apply make up better than I.  Yet my stupid foolish pride could not let her do mine because she had been such a little shit earlier in the day.  So I went out looking like a clown due to my lack of make up skills, while she flitted around at home giving her sisters a hard time while wearing a 'perfect face'.

Then to top it off, I was not able to wear my lovely new shoes because the little boat we were going on was exactly that.  Little.  Well it wasn't that little I guess, apparently 10 x 6 meters, but still a lot smaller than I thought and in no way suitable for my lovely heels and champers while out on the open water.  

Source
This is perhaps more what I was expecting hoping we were going on

This post is joining up with Lose Your Shit Friday over with the very very lovely Miss Cinders at Saturday Morning Orge Mum.  Part of getting your grump on with her is that you have to come up with five awesome things as well.

1. I really like the new stuff I got to look pretty in.  Especially since some of it came from a voucher meaning I saved money.
2. I had a lovely time on the boat, despite it being no where near as large as the one pictured.
3. I landed a few little editing jobs which gave me just enough to buy the shoes I just had to have
4. On Sunday I get to go to a beautiful wedding.
5. Not only did the MIL come and look after the kids so I could go out before Mr Awesome got home from work but she came with dinner as well.