August 12, 2012

Early morning wake ups and no milk

*Please be aware that this post will contain language that some may find offensive.  Let it be known that I will be using a word that starts with F and rhymes with duck.  Please consider yourself warned*

Yep that's right folks I am making time to get angry.  Or rather I am making time to share with you some of the things that have made me angry, or rather fucked me off lately.  Actually it will probably be more about the wonderful (not really) morning that I have until this point endured.

It is currently 7.47am Sunday morning.

After a night of sleep that was continually broken by a boob demanding child I was feeling rather pleased with myself for having convinced her that 5.36 was not in fact wake up time.  Sadly this was all short lived as not even an hour later we were horribly disturbed by the horrendous sound of an alarm clock.

That's right, Miss Eleven had not turned off her alarm.  For fuck sake!!  Good morning Sunday.

Naturally the booby fiend heard the ruckus and being smarter than your average bear knew that is signaled time to finally go downstairs.  I say finally because the little imp had been pleading with me to make the journey down below since about 2am when she first started waking.  Seeing Miss Eleven standing next to our bed only confirmed her greatest desire.

To say I was less than a happy camper is an understatement.

The part that really got my knickers in a twist was that I did have an early morning planned I just wanted to start it on my own accord.  I have a great internal alarm clock where I can just awaken at the required time.  Which is much more pleasant than the shit I went through this morning.  I don't like being woken up.

Trying hard to catch hold of a ray of sunshine, that was still waiting to rise, I thought a quick complain on Facebook may be what the doctor ordered.  While the kettle boiled I got the coffee ready and thought about what I would say. I also began to gather what I needed to make some muffins.  Because you know that is what Martha would do if she were up and about I'm sure.

So not only do I not have enough fresh milk for my muchly needed muffins, there is barely enough for my coffee.  Let me hear are are you fucking kidding me?

Thankfully I am cyclone ready and had some UHT milk on hand.  Which is guarannted to make my coffee taste crap but it is slightly better than no milk at all.

If ever the universe was telling me not to bother with something today was the day.  It wasn't just the bloody milk that I was low on either.  The gas bottle on the oven ran out while I was preheating it.  The recipe for the muffins I was making called for milk choc chips, choc chips and dark choc chips, being a triple choc recipe and all.  Do you think I had all three? Of course I fucking didn't.

I persevered though.  Despite not having enough patty cases either.  Surprisingly what didn't happen was that the muffins didn't burn.  Thank fuck for small mercies hey?

Anyway this post is linking up with the ever lovely Miss Cinders over at Saturday Morning Ogre Mum. She does have a cool button for here meme that is Lose Your Shit (LYS), only do think I can get it to work? Of course I fucking can't.

But wait there is more.

Miss Eleven, who has nearly been forgiven for her part in my awful start to the day, just opened the microwave and asked me why there is melted butter sitting in there.

Let me tell you why there is melted butter sitting in the microwave.  Because I forgot to put it in the fucking muffins.  For fuck sake.

Now part of LYS is that you also stop and take stock of awesome things around you as well.  Even at the lowest of lows there are always positives if you take the time to stop and look.  
  1. While I may not have had all the choc chips that I needed I did have some lovely caramel chips that are beyond awesome.
  2. UHT milk may not exactly be my preferred choice of milk but I am so pleased to have had some this morning.
  3. Even though the gas bottle ran out I did have a spare ready and waiting to go
  4. Despite not having any butter in them the muffins are edible.
  5. It is Sunday.  As crap as the start of the day may have been there is still a lot of it left to go out and enjoy.  Which is exactly what I plan on doing.


  1. I'm not laughing. I promise. Like totally NOT laughing....

    Okay so I am lol

    How did the butterless, caramel/triple choc muffins turn out? Nice? I'm going to have to get me some caramel bits, haven't found them anywhere yet.

    Hope the booby baby decides sleep is a wonderful place to be tonight... And your brain shuts down enough for you to get some too!!

    Thanks for linking up to LYSF!!

    P.S. A gorgeous new button is on it's way soon with a revamped SMOM look ;)

    Happy Sunday lovely!! xxx

    1. Oh laugh away, I am glad at least someone can get joy from my misery :)

      The day turned out alright in the end I guess, though it was not without moments.

      Thanks for being a hostess with the mostess and can't wait to see the new button

  2. I seriously lost it with the butter in the microwave! I've done that so many times! Glad your day did improve though :)

  3. Oh, dear...whatta start to a Sunday!
    But..yay for UHT Milk??? LOLb ;)