July 11, 2012

Catching up with what matters

Surrounded by a jumbled mess that is my life, I thought I would take a minute or twenty to make some time to spend here.  I have been rather absent on this platform of late.  Somewhere in amongst everything this little project seemed to get a little lost.  Which is a shame because really making IT matter is what life should be all about.

So what has been mattering to me?

Just surviving really, not in a by the grit of my teeth kind of way either which has actually been a bit nice.  My survival is more just getting through each day the best I can, comforted in the knowledge that tomorrow is always just around the corner, ready to be what ever you want it to be.

Tomorrow is such a funny concept.  It is the day that some say never comes, yet there are those who claim it the opportunity to start again, brand new and fresh.  Perhaps that is why they say it never comes, because really we rarely start any day brand new and fresh.  The past, no matter how hard we let go of it, still leaves its mark upon us.  One way or another.

But I digress, tomorrow is not really what I want to be thinking of at this moment.  For what that is what really matters.  This moment.  The here and the now.  And the here and the now right now is about getting as much writing done as possible.

I may have been a bit quite here but I am pleased to report I have somehow managed to get a few rather great (even if I do say so myself) posts out, including some stellar fiction.  I am actually thinking of an exciting new way for me to share more of fiction as I get closer to making that writing dream come true.

Speaking of making dreams come true, I have been a bit inspired by the mothers of Olympians that I have caught up with recently.  Make sure you head over and check out my Olympic section.  With only two weeks till the kick off I am starting to get more than a little excited.  If all goes to plan I should have some more rather interesting Olympic posts to share.

Thanks to gastro infected children running has been a little less than I would really like but at least there has still been no more than a five day gap between runs.  Which actually sounds terrible but is better than only once a week or worse still not even once a week.  The school holidays haven't really helped either.  There always seems to be someone who complains about going or wants to do something else.  I will be glad in some ways to be able to simply slot a run in after I drop them at school again.  Mind you I also don't want the holidays to end of course.  There is just no pleasing some people!

There have been plenty of grand plans flying through my head of late.  Which of course is nothing new but buoyed on by some lovely comments by readers of late I am full of confidence and just about ready to take on the world.  Personal growth at this point does not seem as scary as what it usually does.  Nor does change for that matter.  Though I have found that the two, personal growth and change, more often than not go together.

If only I knew why I found the pair so confronting I might be able to open myself up to them a bit more.  Mr Awesome commented the other day about my adversity to change.  To which I naturally took great offense because you know I am progressive and all that, I can't be anti change and progressive now can I?  Only upon deeper reflection I realised the truth in his words.  I really don't like change.  I like things staying the same.  It makes it so much easier to know what is going on.

One thing I have been trying to change though is the relationship I have with Miss 11.  I am concerned that we are not in the best possible position to begin our journey towards the teenage years.  Naturally I want one of those fairytale mother daughter relationships where we talk about anything and there are no secrets or lies.  Just lots of feel good heartwarming moments where I can commend her for her good choices and me for my ability to mother.

sigh...if only


  1. I hope you can be strong and make changes with your daughter .You are right in it being somewhat of a fairytale but hopefully you can have what you wish for lots of feel good heartwarming moments where I can commend her for her good choices and me for my ability to mother
    She is lucky to have a mum who wants this xox.
    You are an awesome mum Rhianna.